by Alycia Morales | Sep 9, 2019 | Family
My youngest turned six on a sunny Sunday in 2010. Like a good mom, I sent out birthday party invitations to his eight friends, asking them to join us at the park for a celebration. I spent time and money (and requested my husband to postpone his plans) preparing for the big day.
We arrived at the park early, setting the table with the red, plastic cloth that tried to blow away as we laid out Gatorade bottles and cupcake containers in order to hold it down. Balloons tugged against their knot, desiring to float off into the blue skies. Sweat dripped down my face as I stuffed Toy Story 3 cups with Sour Patch Kids, Double Bubble and Silly Bands.
We sat and waited. The kids ran off to play on the tire swing and monkey bars. Two-fifteen arrived but no guests had. Two-thirty came and went, as well as several vehicles. None dropped off kids to join the party.
My heart sank with the weight of a sandbag as I tried to figure out what to say to my son when no one came to his birthday party. How do you explain to a six-year-old that people were too busy that day to celebrate his birthday?
Four Things To Do When No One Comes To Your Kid’s Birthday Party
1. Party On
Celebrate anyway. It’s your child’s special day. Accolade him or her with verbal blessings, letting them know that they are important, whether anyone else comes to their party or not. We don’t stop the celebration of their birth or big event just because the guests don’t arrive.
2. Take the Party Elsewhere
Change the plan, if need be. I know that in today’s world, many parents throw elaborate parties at indoor trampoline parks, bounce houses, roller skating rinks, bowling alleys, and so many more places. Kids always show up for those parties.
If you are throwing a party someplace like a park or your back yard, and no one comes, cancel the “party” and take your child out someplace they enjoy going. Buy them dinner at their favorite restaurant. Take them to the indoor trampoline park and let them jump for an hour. See a movie. Move the party of one to someplace fun that will take away the sting of having no guests show up.
3. Give Away the Favors
In today’s world, our kids learn quickly how great it is to receive gifts. How about encouraging them to give, even from a place of hurt? Pack up the favors you bought for the friends that were invited, and have your child deliver them to their buddies the next day in school or that Sunday at church or the next time they have a playdate. Let them know that it’s a joy to give, even when they’ve been let down. Teach them it’s better to give than to receive.
4. Invite Someone Else
Jesus threw a party once. And no one came. So He decided to go out into the world and invite anyone who would come. He ended up with several guests that weren’t on the original guest list. When his friends were too busy to celebrate life with Him, he found others – strangers – who weren’t as busy to celebrate with. (See Matthew 22:1-10)
On the day of Gideon’s party, one little guy happened to be at the playground with his dad. Gideon happily shared his birthday cupcakes and his cups of candy with his new buddy.
The boy’s father shared that they normally go to another park and had decided to come there. I realized in that moment God had intervened and blessed my son with a birthday party guest who wasn’t invited by me. He knew what was going to happen that day. And He intervened with a surprise guest.
I’m not sure if Gideon, who is turning fifteen this year, even remembers the birthday party no one showed up for. If he does, he’s never mentioned it. Thankfully, that’s only happened once in his life. Has this ever happened to your child? If so, what did you do? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
by Alycia Morales | Sep 3, 2019 | Homemaking
You’re about to take your newborn baby out for the first time. Packing the diaper bag for this event is a bit different than packing for the trip home from the hospital. If you’re a new mom, you may have no clue what you need in that bag, other than diapers and wipes. And that’s okay. It’s what this list is for.
What to Pack in a Diaper Bag for an Outing
1. Diapers:
This would seem to be a given, but how many will you need?
How often has baby been wetting the diaper? Figure out how many hours you’ll be out, and add a diaper for each increment of time the baby has been wetting (or pooping) times those hours. That’s how many it would be safe to take. Maybe add a diaper or two over that, just in case.
2. Wipes:
Take a pack.
3. Whatever baby is eating.
You won’t need formula and bottles and water if you’re nursing. If you’re using formula, take a can of formula, bottled water, and a bottle or two. If your baby is a bit older and eating jarred food and/or oatmeal, take that along, as well as a spoon.
4. If you’re nursing,
take extra nursing pads and a blanket to cover yourself with while nursing in public.
Note: Ladies, not everyone wants to see your boobies. Please cover when nursing in public. Yes, it’s natural. Not everyone wants to watch. Just because you’re comfortable doesn’t mean the strangers around you are. Modesty is the best policy.
5. Changes of Clothing:
Take at least two. And a bib, and a burp cloth.
6. Appropriate Outerwear:
If it’s cooler weather, take along a blanket and/or coat. If it’s cold, take along the winter snowsuit and a blanket and a hat. The snowsuits usually have closed hands, so gloves aren’t necessary unless it’s a regular coat sleeve. Take a hat that will shade baby’s tender face and eyes if it’s hot.
7. Toys:
Take along a toy or two that entertain your baby. You may need this if you’re stuck in line or baby gets bored.
8. Pacifiers:
Take along two if your baby is using one. This way, if you drop one and can’t clean it right away, you can swap it out.
9. Medicine:
If your child is anywhere near teething age, I highly recommend keeping both Infant Tylenol and Infant Orajel in your diaper bag. Plus a teething ring. This way, if baby suffers from a mild fever or toothache while you’re out, you can relieve the pain.
10. Your patience.
When an infant starts screeching in the middle of your shopping spree, it can be taxing.
First, you are afraid of what others are thinking. Most of us have been there and done that. We get it.
Second, you want to pacify your child and at the same time, you want to finish your shopping. Baby comes first. Shopping will still be there when you’re finished.
Third, it can take twice as long to shop with kids as it would if you were alone.
If you can, consider leaving baby with Grandma or a responsible sitter so you can have a few moments alone to run errands. Otherwise, be prepared for the extra time spent taking the car seat in and out of the car, stopping to care for your child while they are pitching a fit or getting hungry or need a diaper change, and whatever else comes with caring for your child.
And remember, take them into the store with you. Do NOT leave them alone in the car, locked or not. Cold or not. Hot or not. Be responsible.
Moms, what do you recommend packing in the diaper bag for a day trip? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
by Alycia Morales | Sep 3, 2019 | Education, Homemaking
Do you love the back-to-school season as much as I do? Other than Christmas, Easter, and my birthday, this is one of my favorite times of the year … especially for shopping. As soon as the notebooks, pens, pencils, and folders hit the shelves, I find myself drawn to them like a bug to light. And if I’m not careful, my pocketbook strings can easily be zapped. I’m the mom who will probably shop for school supplies even after my kids have graduated high school.
One way to prep for the back-to-school season is to keep a tote or closet filled with back-to-school supplies on a year-round basis.
Why? Because even after you’ve done back-to-school shopping, you’re going to need more supplies. My kids fly through pencils. I can’t keep them stocked in my house. I open a new pack of the click pencils, all 24 of them, and two weeks later, I can’t find a pencil anywhere in the house.
Here’s a list of school supplies I recommend keeping stocked at home throughout the year:
1. Binders
These can be anywhere from 1.5″ – 3″. Most of my kid’s teachers want them to have 2″ binders. And even when I buy the heavy duty ones, within six months, they need a new one. Try keeping 2 per kid for the school year.
2. Looseleaf Paper
I keep packs of this on the shelf. One thing I’ve noticed in recent years is that some companies are now making packs of 500 pages. This is more economical than buying the single packs if you have multiple children.
3. Composition Notebooks
These are the bound notebooks, not the spiral ones. Most science teachers, ELA teachers, and others who are doing projects with the kids want these. And even if they don’t, your kids will come looking for something to write in, so they won’t go to waste. And when the back-to-school deals are on, they’re usually a cheap fifty cents.
4. Pencils: Click or Old Fashioned No. 2 Lead
My kids prefer the click pencils. Most teachers prefer kids bring their own sharpeners to class if they use the old-fashioned pencils. It’s less distracting than having kids get up constantly to sharpen pencils.
5. Pens
Black, blue, red. Usually teachers want the kdis to have one color or the other plus red. And just like pencils, pens disappear quickly.
6. Erasers
Especially the pink ones. They work the best. Although some teachers will want kids to have the kind that you can put on top of the pencils.
7. Colored Pencils and/or Crayons
I keep these in supply because half of my kids like to draw and color. And now I color in adult coloring books. My preferred pencils and crayons are Crayola brand. They color smoothly compared to others. And their colors are deeper and brighter than others.
8. Folders
One can never have too many plastic folders with prongs and pockets. Paper folders fall apart too easily, and if a teacher is asking for prongs, that means they will have papers going into them. Plastic will last much longer. And if they aren’t abused, you can usually recycle them from semester to semester and year to year.
9. Dividers
These are for the binders. I typically need at least two packs of eight per kids. I like the white ones with white tabs that Avery puts out every year. They’re sturdy but the less expensive route than the colored tabs. Want a pop of color? Use Sharpies to label the tabs.
10. Highlighters
Most teachers want the kids to have highlighters. Sometimes they say one or two. Sometimes they want the rainbow of highlighter colors: yellow, orange, green, blue, and pink.
11. Index Cards
These are the ultimate study tool. Flashcard heaven. Math facts. Spelling words. Vocabulary. They can be used to give your kids reminders or notes in their lunchboxes too.
12. Post-It Notes
I’ve seen these on school supply lists in recent years. I know my one daughter uses them to make notes for future studying or as reminders for supplies she needs. Other than that, I’m not sure what teachers have students use them for. But I get them, because they’re on the list.
If I can save time and money (particularly time), I’m all for finding ways to make life easier. Keeping a stock of school supplies in the closet is one I’ve discovered benefits my already-busy schedule and saves me from last-minute trips to the store. And some years, I don’t have to shop for everything, because we still have an ample supply from the previous year.
What’s a school supply you love keeping in supply at your house? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
by Alycia Morales | Aug 31, 2019 | Family, Marriage
Marriage, like any relationship, takes hard work. It’s really easy to say you love someone. It’s a lot harder to do it. Because love is an action – a verb. Not a feeling or emotion. It’s something we choose to do regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in.
Know What You’re Getting Yourself Into
As little girls, we watch all the princess movies that end with happily ever after, and we think that’s what being married is going to be like. A dream come true. Someone should make a princess movie that shows beyond the glorious wedding day, when the happy couple has their first disagreement.
If you’re going to get married, whether for the first time or a second or more time, be sure you’re ready and willing to put in a lot of hard work to make it last. Because hard work is what it takes.
Be sure you know your boyfriend well enough before you accept that proposal, because it allows you the option to back out before “I do.” Which will save you heartache, disappointment, time, and money. Do your research. Make sure ahead of time that he isn’t abusive, addicted to pornography, a cheater, etc. And trust your parents, pastors, mentors, and friends if they tell you their gut says something is off.
If you’re already married, “divorce” should not be in your vocabulary. I believe that too many give up on their spouses these days. Instead of working through the issues, we get a divorce. Instead of trying to better ourselves in our relationships and pray our husbands catch on, we take the easy way out, claiming irreconcilable differences.
Refuse to become another statistic.
Did you know that the divorce rate among Christians is just as high as the divorce rate among those who aren’t?
Here’s a real simple concept: If you’re not willing to work hard to make a marriage work, don’t get married in the first place.
Marriage is never easy. We have to be willing to work at it.
I’ve been married 21 years this October (2019). The first five years of my marriage were hell as we adjusted to step-family life. The next five were a little better but still involved a lot of disagreement and many arguments. While it’s gotten better with every year, it’s only been the past few months that it’s really started to feel like we’re walking in unity and understanding.
Honestly, by February of 2019, I wanted to walk away. I’d been doing all I knew to do to try to understand my husband and what honoring him looked like. And I wasn’t doing it alone. I’d sought wise counsel for the issues we were having in our marriage and our family life. What he discovered just as I was about to ask her if I should separate myself from him was that he’d been operating in a spirit of offense for the past 20-plus years. That repentant moment changed our entire relationship.
The point? Twenty years of hard work in a difficult marriage paid off in one brief moment in time. Change can happen. Your rocky relationship could become an overnight success. You just have to have the dedication to see it through.
How do we do the hard work to make a marriage last?
Be sure you’re willing to stand firm when life throws boulders your way, because it always does.
Persevere through storms and sicknesses and famines, because they will happen.
Be willing to lay down your great ideas when your spouse doesn’t see things the same way. Sometimes we have to admit they may have something better than us and yield to that knowledge.
Lay down your OCD tendencies that drive you to need a clean house, because someone’s socks will always be on the floor. One foot from the laundry basket.
Trust God when your spouse just can’t see you for the brilliant person you are or wants to hold something against you that you know is causing deceit to creep into his heart and/or thoughts. God sees all and knows all. Rest in His love when your spouse is unlikable.
Be sure you’re willing to sacrifice, because there will always be something to sacrifice.
Listen and understand, because there will always be miscommunication.
Forgive and forget, because it’s easy to hold a grudge until your list is longer than Santa’s.
Let the fiery darts bounce off, because it’s easy to take harsh words into your heart and allow them to affect your identity and your attitude.
Be the bigger person, because it’s easy to want to win the fight. And when one of you wins, neither of you wins.
Apologize when you realize you were in the wrong. Saying your sorry can soften a husband’s heart toward you. And admitting mistakes opens the door for them to admit their own.
Stay when you want to go. Because it’s easy to leave. But it’s much harder to rebuild your broken life. And, if you give it enough time, it may change overnight. Just like my relationship with Victor did.
Note: I don’t condone abuse.
If you find yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship, seek counsel. If you find yourself in physical or sexual harm, separate immediately and get the help you and your spouse need. I never recommend staying with someone who is hurting you and threatening your health and/or life.
If you’re in a marriage that isn’t abusive and you’ve found yourself tired of the daily “crap” life throws your way, don’t you dare walk out. It always takes work to make it “ever after.” And happily ever after is possible. Dare to dream. Then do whatever it takes to make the dream come true.
What is one thing you wish you knew about marriage before you said “I do”? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
by Alycia Morales | Aug 31, 2019 | Homemaking
Naptime is the treasured time of day for most moms. It’s a few moments of quiet time. A brief relief from taking care of the kids. I always treasured naptime. I’ve always enjoyed time to myself, and that’s what those moments in a day afforded me.
Yes, there’s always housework to do. Maybe you’re dragging your feet by the time your sweet ones close their eyes for an afternoon respite, and you want to join them. There are a bunch of things we can do while our children sleep.
For those of you who are new moms and may not know what to do with yourselves or for those of you who struggle to choose what to do during naptime…
Here is a list of 25 things you can do during your child’s naptime:
- Take a nap yourself.
- Take a shower.
- Freshen up.
- Spend quiet time with the Lord.
- Pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee and read a book.
- Write a blog post.
- Do a craft.
- Do the dishes.
- Run a load of laundry.
- Clean out a closet.
- Clean out the refrigerator.
- Prep dinner.
- Make the important phone calls you’ve been putting off.
- Catch up with a friend.
- Text your husband to let him know how much you adore him.
- Play a game.
- Plan for the week.
- Pay the bills.
- Budget for the month.
- Catch up on your favorite show.
- Fold the clothes and put them away.
- Check email and respond as needed.
- Post to social media.
- File papers.
- Give yourself a mani/pedi.
Some of these things may take a few minutes, while others may take a few hours. Depending on how long your children sleep, you may get one or two things done, or you may get a few things done.
What would you add to the list? We’d love your input! Feel free to leave a comment below!
