Have you ever wondered if you should limit your child’s use of electronics?

Those of us who are raising teens today grew up in the beginning stages of the electronics era. Atari. Nintendo. Commodore 64. Apple. Video games and home computers were beginning to make their way into the households of the world. Our parents didn’t have to limit our time on these machines, because we still preferred to go outside and hang out face-to-face with our friends. We played Kick the Can and rode our bikes or skateboards.

Those of us who are raising school-aged children saw the influx of XBOX and PlayStation and PCs and more from Nintendo and Apple. Add to that the cell phones, iPods, iPads, and such, and our kids are introduced to electronics at birth.

My Son Turned To Video Games to Help Himself Cope with Bullying

When my son was in middle school, he was traumatically bullied. Made fun of, shoved into lockers bullied. And when he, out of the compassion of his love-others heart stepped between a bully and another child, he punched back as his father had told him to and ended up on in-school suspension, with the bully in the same room.

When I went to the school the next morning, irate with the principal and guidance counselor for a) putting him in the same room with the bully and b) never notifying me that my son was even on in-school suspension, the principal had the audacity to look at me and ask what my son had done to incur the bullying, as if he was to blame for being the victim of some other child’s inability to treat others with respect.

At this point in time, my son withdrew into himself and began using video games as a coping mechanism for his social trauma and fear and anxiety when having to interact with others face-to-face. Video games were a safe social space for him, because he could back out of a game if he felt uncomfortable interacting with someone else. No harm. No foul.

The only problem is that, in time, he became addicted to video games, and his social abilities continued to go down hill. He’s twenty now. In the past several years, we’ve watched him struggle to focus on things like schoolwork and at jobs. He has blown multiple paychecks – entire hundreds-of-dollars-paychecks – on video games and their accoutrements – online. And he started lying to cover up for his wrongdoings.

So, when is it time to limit our children’s use of electronics?

I’d say, as soon as they are old enough to use them.

Most kids spend at least 8 hours a day looking at a screen, while teens spend up to 11 hours a day doing so. The recommended amount? 1 hour for kids 2-5 and 2 hours for 6 and up. A simple Google search of recommended screen time for kids will bring you a lot of answers, all saying the same thing.

Breaking Habits Is Hard

It’s extremely difficult to break teens of the habit of spending vast amounts of time on their electronics, whether they are posting selfies on social media or playing video games against their friends online or scrolling through YouTube videos or watching Netflix. Which is why I wish I’d limited their time – consistently – when they were in kindergarten through third grade.

I know that life gets busy, and sometimes it’s just easier for moms to put on cartoons for the kids while they do the dishes or clean out a closet. I get it. Totally. Because that’s what I did.

The problem is that turned into letting them play video games for three hours plus while I worked on everything that needed to be done in a day – between my writing, editing, cleaning, errands, etc. All the things that pile up. And it hasn’t benefited them at all.

Now, when I try to get them off the video games or their phones or tablets, I have to deal with toddler-like temper tantrums. And when we take away their phone or video game console as a disciplinary measure for their unruly attitude? Oh, watch out! The attitude gets worse for the next twenty-four hours for some of them.

Avoid Having To Break Bad Habits

What I should have done all those years ago was to have my children help me with those household responsibilities, instead of simply modeling them. Granted, we’ve had chores assigned to each of them and required them to maintain those duties throughout the week or month they were assigned for. They weren’t sitting idly by on their games watching me do all the work. But there were plenty of things I could have had them helping with that would have occupied their time and reinforced the need for hard work and an ability to organize well. Things we could have done that would have allowed for face-to-face interaction and conversations, further developing their social skills.

So please, take my advice as you bring up your small children. Limit the screen time. Keep them close to you and have them participate in life.

And for those of you who, like me, waited a few years too many to intervene, it’s not too late. As long as your kids are under your roof, you have the ability to set the rules and to limit that time. And if they refuse to comply? Take the device(s) away. Give them time to rant and rave. And watch as your kid comes back to life before your eyes. It will happen if you will take the time to make it happen.

Have you ever struggled with how much time you allow your children to spend in front of a screen? We’d love to talk! Feel free to leave a comment below.