Gift Giving. Do those words make you cringe, or do you get truly excited? Some of us are naturally givers. Others of us struggle to come up with something worthy of sharing with another human we love. It’s not that we don’t care. Or that we’re stingy. There are many reasons someone may struggle with giving. That’s why I’m here to help. My hope is that this guide will encourage you to continue blessing others, whether you are a natural giver or you struggle with being generous. With this guide, we’ll discover how to overcome all those gift-giving woes. Or improve our already awesome gift-giving self.
Disclaimer: This blog post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission to fund my coffee drinking habit if you use these links to make a purchase. You will not be charged extra, and you’ll keep me supplied in caffeine. It’s a win for everyone, really.
Reasons We Struggle with Gift Giving
There are so many things to choose from that we get bound up.
We don’t know the person as well as we thought we did, so we struggle to decide what to get them.
The recipient already has everything, and we’re left wondering what’s left to give.
Our friend is generous. Gifts are her love language. She blesses us all the time. How do we return the blessing?
Our budget is already tight, and our child has been invited to three birthday parties in the next month.
We have a large family, and Christmas is becoming so expensive, we’re beginning to dread the holidays.
Let Go Of Your Pride & Ask Before You Buy
Oftentimes, we don’t know what someone wants because we don’t have the nerve to ask. Why? Pride. Plain and simple. We don’t want them to know that we have no idea what to get them, and we refuse to ask because of that.
Most people will tell you what they want, if not provide you with a list of ideas so you can choose which one to get them.
Also, this prevents us from giving things our family member or friend may not want to receive. Have you ever had a grandparent buy something you couldn’t use or wouldn’t use? My father-in-law once gave our kids clothing for Christmas. They were all littles at the time. The problem? He bought sizes they’d already outgrown … because he never asked me what they were wearing. Some family members shop at thrift stores or dollar stores for gifts the recipients considered junk. And the list goes on…
Ask before you buy. Get things on their wish lists. Get things that fit. Get things they will enjoy. Stop buying things they will want to throw away or return or have to exchange. All it requires is a moment and a question.
And don’t forget about Gift Registries. If you’re shopping for a baby or bridal shower, chances are the parents- or couple-to-be have registered with their favorite stores to make shopping easier for those invited to the showers and wedding. Be sure to find out if they have one; and if they do, use it.
Gag Gifts: To Gag or Not To Gag? Again, ask first. If you’re at the company Christmas party or it’s April Fool’s Day, gag gifts may be acceptable offerings. However, if you’re having a pleasant family Christmas party, it’s better to ask ahead of time if anyone is interested in gag gifts and to come to an agreement before you run out and buy Uncle Rudy that giant whoopee cushion.
Tis Better to Give than to Receive
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ (Acts 20:35, NIV)“
Why is it more blessed to give than to receive?
1. There is joy in seeing someone’s reaction when we give of our time, finances, or a simple gift.
2. Givers tend to be healthier.
3. Givers tend to live longer.
4. Giving increases our connectedness with others.
5. Giving helps us think of others before we think of ourselves.
These are just a handful of reasons why it’s better to give than to receive. There are plenty more.
I would like to focus on one: when we receive without giving, we become entitled. We think that everyone should bless us, like we deserve to be blessed without having to bless in return. I would rather give, expecting nothing in return, than constantly receive from others and not ever give anything of myself. It’s just not healthy to take, take, take.
Consider your relationships. How many friends or family members do you know who are always needing or wanting something but never want or feel the need to return the favor? What happens? They drain you of the joy of giving, right? They suck the life out of the relationship.
Hence, it is better to give than to receive. We need to be people who consider others and make them a priority over our own needs. I’ve heard so many testimonies of people giving in their times of deepest need and ending up being extremely blessed because they stepped out in generosity.
Have you ever considered putting the saying to test? Why not begin now?
Keep a Calendar
Whether you prefer to use a wall calendar, a Happy Planner, a bullet journal, a pocket calendar, or your phone calendar, begin keeping a calendar of birthdays, anniversaries, important dates in someone’s life, and holidays that are commonly known for giving gifts, such as Christmas or Easter.
Each month, look ahead for the dates you know you need a gift or multiple gifts.
Add in the following as they come up:
- Children’s friends birthdays. You receive an invitation every year. This year, mark it on your calendar so you know ahead of time that the invitation is coming.
- As soon as you hear that someone is getting engaged or that someone is pregnant, write it into your calendar. Babies take 9 months to develop before making their grand entry into the world. The baby shower will happen between now and then. Plan ahead. And whether or not you can attend the wedding, you can always send a card with cash or a gift card. Or have a gift delivered to the bride-to-be.
- Graduation is every May or June for most schools. When your kids or your kids’ friends enter their senior year of high school, put graduation on the calendar. You’ll have ten months to prepare.
Make a List and Check It Twice
Take a clue from Santa. Once you know when the important dates are throughout the year, make a list. Use check boxes so that when you purchase an item, you can mark it off. This way, you won’t be buying duplicates. Keep the list with you when you shop. This will provide easy access. You can take a picture of it on your phone or put it in your phone’s notes app. Or, if you prefer pen and paper, fold it up and tuck it into your purse or wallet.
Budget for Gifts
This is one of the hardest things for me, personally. I always say I’m going to budget for gifts, but, you know, four hungry teens eat the gift budget on a regular basis. So how does one go about budgeting for gifts when necessities tie up the budget? Here are a few ideas:
1. Get a couple of money-saving apps. I love Ibotta and Get Upside. Every time I shop at various stores or pump gas at particular stations, I get money back. I can choose to leave the money sitting there for as long as I’d like, or I can cash it out. If I choose to leave it there, it grows over time, like a savings account for spending. Use the money for gift purchases. Both apps allow you to purchase digital gift cards, as well.
And if you download either of these apps, please be sure to use my codes:
Get Upside will reward you with an additional $0.15 back per gallon when you use my code: WS4WNJ
My ibotta code is nmhadgi. Sign up today for a $20 bonus!
2. Set up a savings account just for gift giving. Some banks have Christmas Club accounts where you can deposit a certain amount each month to save until Christmas shopping season rolls around. If you take it out early, there’s usually a penalty.
3. Save the change. I use Bank of America, and they have a Save the Change option where every time I spend money on my bank card, they round up to the next dollar and put that difference in my savings account. It adds up quickly when I don’t touch it. At home, empty your coins into the piggy bank every day. That will add up too! Cash it out when you need to buy a gift.
How To Save Time and Money Gift Shopping
I love saving money. No matter what I’m shopping for, I always shop for the best deals. Here are a few tips to save money (and time) while you’re gift shopping:
1. Don’t wait until the last minute to do your shopping.
My husband is notorious for waiting until Christmas Eve day to go Christmas shopping for me and whatever gifts he wants to personally buy for the kids. I can’t wait that long. Too much is cleared from the shelves by then. And it’s rare that there are any sales that day.
2. Shop Year Round
You don’t have to wait until Black Friday to start your Christmas shopping. Nor do you have to wait until the month of the birthday to buy the perfect gift. Plan ahead, use your calendar, and shop year round.
3. Shop Online
Everyone knows about Black Friday, but did you know there’s also a Cyber Monday following Black Friday? If you don’t want to deal with all the crazies who fight over toys and electronics on Black Friday, or you hate going out to shop, stay home and shop online Cyber Monday. The gifts will come straight to your door!
4. Shop the Sales
We just discussed the holiday sales. Now consider the following:
- There’s a no tax weekend in most states right before school starts. This is a great time to stock up on clothing and pen sets and art supplies that would make great gifts for kids or friends.
- All stores run sales throughout the year. Have someone who loves candles or hand soap? Bath & Body Works. Have someone who loves crafting? Michaels, Hobby Lobby, or Joann’s. Know someone who loves clothing? Visit any number of clothing stores. Buy things when they’re on sale and put them in a closet until they’re needed.
- Looking to shop online? A lot of online stores (even Etsy shops) will have their own sales, as well. Keep an eye on your favorites for when they offer discounts.
5. Shop Clearance
There are a lot of items you could find on clearance that will make perfect gifts for people throughout the year. This is another great way to save money.
Gift Giving On a Budget
What happens when you’re on a tight budget? When your family is outgrowing your wallet? When the kids are asking for the latest electronic gadget or gaming system and you can barely afford to feed them?
First, explain to everyone involved that you love them, but you can’t afford to spend that much or to buy everyone in the family a gift because (name your reasons). Then, stand your ground.
Here are a few suggestions you could make:
White Elephant – Everyone in the family buys a gift to exchange. The family gathers, and the gifts are placed in the center of the room. Write out enough numbers that everyone in the family can draw one from a basket or hat or other container, and place them into said container. Start with the youngest or oldest and have everyone draw a number. Whoever gets number one goes first. They choose a gift. The next person can either take the gift from the first or choose another. And so on. Each member of the family is only allowed to “steal” a gift from someone else twice or three times, whichever you decide. In the end, everyone has a gift. You could have one circle for the kids to exchange gifts and one for the adults. You could also limit the price everyone is allowed to pay for each gift.
Secret Santa – When everyone is gathered at Thanksgiving, write down everyone’s name and put it into a container you can draw from. Pass the container around the dinner table and let everyone choose a name. If anyone gets their own name, they put it back and draw again. Whoever you draw, you buy the gift for. At Christmas, everyone gets a gift from their Secret Santa. You can put a limited dollar amount on the gift buying or choose not to put an amount on them.
Limit the Number of Gifts – Maybe instead of buying gifts for everyone in the family, we only buy gifts for the kids. Or, if we really want to buy gifts for the adults, we do a Secret Santa for the adults and still buy gifts for the kids. Another option is to buy a family gift instead of one gift per individual. Or buy a couple’s gift and then a group gift for the kids (like a board game).
Deciding Not To Spend Money on Gifts
Some years or seasons, it’s not affordable to spend money on gifts. Here are some alternatives:
Give of Your Time (Service)
Offer to provide child or adult care services for someone you know is in need of a break. Offer to clean your sister’s or mother’s house one week. Mow a lawn. Find something someone else needs that you can provide that service for as a gift.
Give of Your Talents (Create)
Do you have a talent you can share? For example, I have a room full of crafting supplies. I may not be able to afford to buy new supplies, but I have enough to create a blanket or mixed media artwork or put together a scrapbook for someone on my list. What do you have laying around that won’t cost anything for you to make something out of it?
Are you a songwriter or musician? What about a writer? Poems and memoirs and songs are gifts that people won’t likely forget. These are things we tend to treasure and share with our grandkids. What could you put into words and music that would bless generations to come?
How To Pick Out the Easy Gift
This one has easy in the title, because it’s really that easy! What is the one thing you know the person you’re buying for is dying to receive? That’s the answer to your gift-buying dilemma. But be prepared to spend, because this is usually the gift that costs the most.
How To Pick Out a Thoughtful Gift
Thoughtful gifts are gifts that you’ve put time and energy into planning. They’re usually something the recipient has either wanted since they didn’t get it at Christmas when they were six or that will hold some special meaning to them. Maybe it’s a first-edition book. Maybe it’s a hand-crafted item that contains something personal to them.
A few years ago, our entire family was together for the first time since … well, ever. My parents, all three of us siblings, and our spouses and kids convened for a couple of days of much-needed family fun. Since all three of my brother’s kids are chronically ill, it’s difficult for them to travel like that, and it was the first time all of their kids could come with them to visit. The youngest was six or seven. It was the first time I’d met her. My step-son had miraculously shown up for a visit at the same exact time. And my sister and her husband and my parents were all down from NY. We took a family photo by a special tree in the park where we live. I knew how much that meant to all of us, especially my mother. So for Christmas, I ordered her a canvas print of the photo. She cried when she opened it.
That is what I mean by a thoughtful gift. Something that will bring a tear to the eye of the person receiving it.
How to Pick Out an Original Gift
Don’t be the person who brings a crock pot to the bridal shower. Or a pack of diapers to the baby shower. Be the person who thinks long and hard about how to make something common into something original. Create a cookbook of your favorite crock pot recipes and the supplies for one of them. Put them in the crock pot with some pot holders and a ladle. Now it’s an original gift. Study videos of how to make a diaper cake and get creative. Now the standard diaper gift is original.
My niece’s Christmas list in 2019 contains this crockpot with a twist: it’s a Nightmare Before Christmas themed crockpot.
Maybe you don’t want to get creative, and you just want to buy an original gift. Think of something the person you’re buying for could use and give it an original twist. Monogram it. Get it in a themed style, such as Star Wars or an anime they love. Put a twist on it, making it original.
Gift Giving Lists
Stocking Stuffers Ultimate List 2019 (some under-the-tree gift suggestions included)
Gifts for Families
1. Movie Night: Either a DVD set and Popcorn OR A Regal Gift Card Pack
2. Board Game Night: A board game, a card game, and candy all around
Considerate Gift Ideas for Couples
1. A Night Out: Dinner, Movie/Concert/Theatre Tickets, Childcare
2. Our Q&A a Day: 3-Year Journal for 2 People
3. A gift for something you know they both enjoy doing (i.e. hiking (local trail books and a safety kit for their packs), yard sales (a gas card, a travel mug, and $25), reading (an Audible subscription or a gift card to a book store or amazon, a set of reading lights, and bookmarks), etc.
Gifts Your Teen Will Love
Generic:
1. Gas cards
2. Tickets to the movies or a concert
3. Cold hard cash
4. A subscription to Spotify
5. A date night with mom or dad where they go to dinner and a store of the teen’s choice and they get to pick out one thing they want within a budgeted amount.
Boys:
1. Gift Cards for Food
2. Gift Cards for Gaming (computer or gaming system games)
3. Anything related to their passion. My boys all enjoy music, and I often get requests for instruments.
Girls:
1. Anything for their nails: Mani/Pedi Gift Certificate, Nail Kits, Nail Polish, Nail Polish Remover (the list goes on)
2. A subscription box (see Subscriptions below)
3. Shoes, purses, and clothing
4. Starbucks Gift Card $25
5. Monogrammed Yeti Cups
Gifts Your Husband Will Love
1. Anything related to his hobby/passion (golf, football, hunting, fishing, shooting, cars, etc.)
2. Anything he has mentioned needing or wanting in the past six months (an item, a tool, clothing, etc.)
3. A night in a hotel with his wife, dinner, and doing something you both enjoy (movie, concert, theatre, etc.).
Gifts Your Wife Will Love
1. A spa day gift certificate (facial, mani/pedi, massage)
2. A weekend away with you, but consider her when making plans. What does she like to do? Where does she like to go? Don’t make it about you. Make it about her.
3. Hire a cleaning service to come in and deep clean the house once a month.
What NOT To Buy Your Wife (Unless she specifically asks for them!)
1. Appliances
2. Items associated with your hobby (Did you really get it for her?)
3. Tools
Gifts Grandparents Will Love
1. Scrapbooks or Photo Albums (Create one of your family’s past year. Or one of their lifetime and legacy.)
2. All-new Kindle – Now with a Built-in Front Light – White – Includes Special Offers
3. Money toward a vacation they’d like to take (ex: my parents are going to Israel – spending money would be a great gift)
What NOT To Buy Your Grandchild
1. Noisy toys (even when they are teens and ask for a drum set) (Unless you have the parents’ permission.)
2. Clothing (Unless you have a direct link to the items and the correct sizes)
3. Anything that will make a huge mess for Mom to clean up
Baby Shower Gifts
1. Gimars XL 6 Pockets Holding Anything Portable Baby Diaper Changing Pad, Detachable Waterproof Baby Travel Changing Mat Station with Head Cushion for Diapers Wipes Creams – Perfect Baby Shower Gift
2. Boppy Original Nursing Pillow and Positioner, Sketch Slate Gray, Cotton Blend Fabric with allover fashion
3. Baby University Board Book Set: Four Science Board Books for Babies (Baby University Board Book Sets)
Engagement Gifts
1. An engagement photo shoot
2. Your favorite book about marriage relationships (Mine is Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
3. A gift card that they can use to purchase something new for their home (couples don’t always have everything they need when starting out)
Wedding Gifts
1. We still have the gold-rimmed wine glasses an elderly couple from our town gave us when we got married. Passing on an heirloom or an antique is an amazing gift.
2. Cash goes a long way for newly weds. They can use it on their honeymoon, buy something they need for the house, etc. It’s another gift we greatly appreciated when we got married.
3. Anything from their gift registry. This is a fail-proof gift, because they’ve chosen exactly what they want and let everyone know about it.
Anniversary Gifts
1. A weekend away for the couple
2. A photo album of the pictures you took at their wedding. You could add memories from the day as captions or stories on the pages.
3. Again, consider the couple. What do they like or enjoy doing together? Purchase something that they can use together. It can be monogrammed or personalized. If they have particular tastes, you could make it original by getting something themed.
Creative Gift Ideas
1. Blankets (if you knit or crochet or quilt – people value these & will wear them thin)
2. Scrapbooks (another treasure – fond memories included)
3. Something they can hang on their wall (painting, mixed media artwork, wreath, framed or canvas print, etc.)
Gift Cards
This is my all-time favorite gift to receive. It’s mostly what I ask for on my birthday and at Christmastime. Why? Because I love to take a day and go shopping for myself. It’s like therapy. Instead of running to the store for groceries or someone else’s need, I can spend time perusing things I like and enjoy. Like books at Barnes & Noble. Or all the crafty and home decor treasures at Hobby Lobby. The Happy Planner section at Joann’s.
And if you don’t know what your nieces and nephews or grandkids are really into, you probably at least know where they like to shop. Gift cards are a great option when you’re not sure what to give.
Cash
This is my go-to for birthday parties that my children get invited to. Most invitations don’t come with a list of what the child wants, but I know from my own children (and myself) that everyone loves cash! Some kids save up for larger items on their wish lists. Some want to see concerts. Some want to go to the race track. Some want an instrument. Some want a phone or game system. Some want to take a vacation somewhere special. And if they don’t want to save up for something, they know which toy they’re dying to get. Cash is handy. It’s a great go-to when you just aren’t sure what to gift. Or where the recipient likes to shop.
Subscriptions
There are all sorts of subscriptions out there in cyberspace today. Yes, there are the typical magazine subscriptions (My favorite is Bella Grace.). But did you know about any of the following BOX subscriptions?
Fab, Fit, Fun This is a great box for women who enjoy self-care. Health and beauty products, as well as things such as jewelry, totes, blankets, accessories, etc.
Fairyloot This is a YA book box, complete with book-themed items.
Owlcrate This is another YA book box, complete with book-themed items.
Butterfly Box This is a Christian subscription box that helps women live out their faith daily.
BattlBox This is great for that outdoorsman you love.
FanChest Have a sports fanatic in your home? Or a diehard fan of a particular team? This gift box would make a great gift.
Dollar Shave Club This is a great subscription box for men.
KiwiCo What I love about Kiwi is the variety of crates they have for kids. Your child loves crafting? There’s a crate for them. Your child loves STEM? There’s a crate for them. Your child loves culture? There’s a crate for them. And the crates are for a variety of ages, as well.
You could also consider gifting them with a subscription to an app or service:
Audible
iTunes
Amazon Music
Spotify
Netflix
Hulu
The Gift that Keeps On Giving (Charitable Contributions)
Maybe you’d rather donate to a charity of the recipient’s choice than give them something physical. Talk with your friend or family member and find out what they support. Keep in mind that some charities are doing work internationally or nationally, while other are working locally to make a difference in the communities they reside in.
Here are a few charities doing fantastic work at making a difference in the world:
A21 (Human Trafficking)
Samaritan’s Purse (Humanitarian Aid)
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption (Foster Care and Adoption)
Ronald McDonald House (Housing for Families while Children Are Hospitalized)
What To Give When You’re Not Sure What To Give
When I’m not sure what to give, I buy a card and write a blessing for the recipient and toss in cash. The amount depends on the occasion. Gift certificates/gift cards are always a great option. If you aren’t sure where the recipient likes to shop or eat, go with something “generic.” Like Target or Walmart, a steakhouse or Italian food, and movies. Everyone can find something at Walmart and Target, even if it’s a grocery item or toiletry they need. At least you’ll be saving them some money on their grocery lists. Steakhouses have a variety of food options, and most everyone likes pasta. And who doesn’t like a movie?
Still not sure? Give them a handwritten note about why they are special to you, reminiscing on a memory, or celebrating their success and how you saw it coming because of their solid character. Handwritten notes are a novelty in this electronic age, and people do still treasure receiving them. Put a stamp on an envelope and mail it. This will make it even more special. I love finding something other than junk mail or bills in my mailbox. I know I’m not the only one!
0 Comments