In the winter of 2009, I watched a Christmas special on television. The Dave Thomas Foundation promoted adoption, and they were interviewing children who awaited forever families.
I enjoyed the musical presentations, and “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri took on an entirely new meaning to me that night. Especially when the hosts interviewed a seventeen-year-old girl who was about to age out of the system. My heart broke as she cried out for a family.
When a teen turns eighteen or twenty-one, they are considered an adult, and they “graduate” or “age” out of the foster care (state) system. There are over 400,000 children in the foster care system in the United States. Over 100,000 are waiting to be adopted. 20,000 will age out of the system when they turn eighteen, twenty-one, or graduate high school.
Can you imagine being eighteen and on your own? Without a family? No one to turn to when you have questions or need comfort or life gets the better of you? No one to guide you through college and applications and job interviews or to walk you down the aisle at your wedding?
Those thoughts ran through my mind as I listened to her story and heard her desire for someone to consider her worthy of a family.
Since then, I’ve also seen a Facebook post about a young man in the foster system who is about to age out and desires a forever family.
These kids want someone to love them. Care for them. Provide a family for them. Encourage them. Support them.
That evening, I knew our family needed to foster and eventually adopt a teen. It would be a few more years before my husband would agree with me, but God had a plan for our family to grow once more.
There are several reasons we chose to adopt a teen, rather than a younger child or an infant:
1. We wanted to remove a child from the state system.
With over 400,000 children in foster care, we wanted to make a difference. Even if we can only adopt one or two, that’s one or two more children who are blessed with a family and who we are blessed to be able to call our children.
2. Our kids are all teenagers.
Vic and I have four bio kids. They were between thirteen and seventeen when we began fostering. We are way beyond baby years. I have no desire to be awake at all hours of the night to feed, change, and rock a baby or a toddler. We made sure our caseworker knew we were only interested in children who were between twelve and sixteen.
3. I am looking forward to being alone with my husband in the next few years.
Victor was previously married and already had a son when we got married. I look forward to having a true “honeymoon” season with my husband. Our desire is to adopt kids who will be moving out of our home within the same time frame as our own children. We are looking forward to spending time alone together as our kids grow up and move out.
4. We want to provide a forever family and home to kids who are old enough to age out.
As I expressed earlier, we wanted to provide a family and support system to children who may never again have the opportunity to have their own mom, dad, and siblings.
Have you ever considered adopting? Are your kids older? Maybe you’re a single woman who desires to be a mom. These would be a couple of reasons to consider adopting a teenager.
If you’ve adopted a teen or have questions about adoption, we’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
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