You’ve just had a blowout argument with your husband. Were you right or were you wrong?

Your kids have resorted to fighting with each other all day, and they refuse to listen to you. How do you get them to stop?

You can’t keep up with the laundry, dishes, and mess of your home no matter how hard you try. How on earth do all those Pinterest moms do it?

Who do you turn to when you need help with an issue at home?

Young wives and mothers need mentors.

Motherhood and homemaking don’t come with a manual. At least, not one we would unwrap at a bridal or baby shower. So what are we to do when we face disruptions in our relationships and our home? Where can we find the advice we seek?

We need to find a mentor. An older, wiser woman who we can trust to answer our questions and provide sound advice on all things home related. Why?

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Here are 7 Reasons Young Homemakers Need a Mentor

1.God says this is a wise thing to do.

Titus 2:1-5 says:

“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (NKJV).

It’s God’s grand idea for young women to have a mentor who can lead them into becoming successful homemakers.

As someone who recognized this at a “young mom” age, I can attest to the value of having a mentor. Keep reading to find out why I highly recommend finding one.

2. We don’t know it all.

As much as we think we do, when we come into marriage and begin our families, we don’t know everything there is to know about being a wife, a mother, and a homemaker. Sure, we have some great ideas and a few preconceived notions on what it will take. But, we tend to base those on our personal experiences and what we learned growing up in our parents’ household. We all had different childhood experiences that will influence our parenting styles.

What we gain by seeking out a mentor is another perspective.

By finding a mentor, you are allowing yourself to gain a fresh perspective on what family looks like. On how relationships work. On what it looks like to be a good parent. A helpful wife. A superb homemaker.

Gina Barto is one of the women I looked to as a young mother and homemaker. She had three lovely girls in their teens, and each of them had a servant’s heart. I always admired how much her girls got along, loved being around each other, and encouraged each other. While my boys were bickering and throwing punches at each other every chance they got, Gina’s girls were examples of what I wished for my sons. So when I had parenting questions, I went to Gina.

3. We don’t need to (and can’t) do life alone.

When I was in my early twenties, I was a bit of a rebel. I lived at home, and I wanted to do things my way, in my time. But my parents wanted me to live by their rules and guidelines. I didn’t like that very much, and when I continued to break their rules, they kicked me out. In that season, my mom went to her knees in prayer for me. But she didn’t do it alone. She turned to two ladies who have helped her through so many things in the years my siblings and I were in our late teens and early twenties.

Those two ladies, Nancy Engelhardt and Joanne Nuzzi, became my mentors when I was a young wife and mother. They have taught me many things about relating with my husband, keeping my marriage strong, raising kids, and seeking the Lord.

We weren’t created to isolate.

To do life alone. To be the mom who doesn’t need help. To be the wife who can handle her own business at home. We need older, wiser women who can help us in times of need. Who have solid marriages and have raised their kids and know a thing or two about doing so.

4. We don’t need to reinvent the wheel.

Motherhood may be new to us, but it isn’t a new thing.

As the saying goes, there’s nothing new under the sun. Motherhood has been around since Adam and Eve had Cain and Abel. There are years of experience in marriage, parenting, and homemaking out there in the world around us.

I’m a DIYer. I like to solve my own problems before seeking help to do so. I’ll even try to come up with my own solutions. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they fail.

What I’ve learned over the years is that there is nothing more valuable than having a real-life mother to ask for help and advice. She doesn’t have to be your real mother, either. I still have my mom – who is fantastic, by the way – to ask for help. I also have my spiritual mothers, as well as my “second” moms. My best friends are great at pointing out my need for a shift in perspective or give me advice, as well.

Who do you have in your life who can guide you through motherhood, being a wife and a homemaker? You don’t have to waste your time trying to do something on your own in a new-to-you fashion. Save time and talk with someone you really know.

5. We need someone to help filter good ideas and find the truth.

The internet was a new thing when my children were infants and toddlers. We didn’t really have access to the online world until my third child was born. So I couldn’t turn to Google or Siri or Alexa. I didn’t have access to Pinterest and blog posts. I couldn’t find help online. I had to find it in person.

Today, we have access to helpful articles about how to keep our homes clean, how to breastfeed and what to do when we can’t produce enough milk. You can read a whole bunch of advice on marriage and how to keep your husband happy. Want to know how to grow plants inside your home? There’s plenty on that too. Right at your fingertips.

So why would you need a mentor? A woman you can meet with and have a cup of coffee? Or tea?

Because she can also help you weed out the good ideas from the bad, as well as the truth about life as a homemaker and the lies. I’m not saying that everything you read online is fake news. Or lies. Or bad information. But there’s so much out there with so many varying opinions, how do you not get overwhelmed when trying to figure out what’s right for you?

That’s where the mentor comes in. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have someone you can talk with in real life.

Relationships are key.

You need someone who can give you a hug when life has you down. Your favorite blogger who lives across the country, who may or may not know your name, isn’t going to be able to do that.

A mentor will.

6. Books are great, but they can’t give you a shoulder to cry on.

Early in my marriage, I had difficulty getting my husband to see my perspective on a variety of issues – especially when it came to his son from his first marriage, my stepson. It didn’t seem to matter how many times I tried to converse with him, to offer my wisdom, to apologize for my mistakes, to get him to understand where I was coming from when I made decisions concerning our household – nothing I did was right.

After living under that for three years, I felt desperately alone and began searching for books and information on stepfamilies. It’s then I came across The Smart Stepfamily by Ron L. Deal. I also found The Smart Stepmom by Ron L. Deal and Laura Petherbridge. While I didn’t agree with everything they said in their books, the majority of it made sense. I could apply it to my own situation.

I still felt alone, though. The key women in my life were not stepmoms.

But they were wives. And they were mothers. When I hit those walls with my husband, I had a shoulder I could cry on. Even though they didn’t fully understand my situation, they still provided sound advice on varying aspects of that situation.

So, even though there are a lot of great books and blogs and Pinterest pins out there for young homemakers and wives and mothers, it’s wise to seek out mentors who can work through your situations at home with you in real life.

7. We need a mediator when issues arise.

When Vic and I were having difficulties in our marriage and I was unable to reason with him one-on-one, I called in backup. There were several evenings when our pastor and his wife would visit after our kids were in bed so that we could discuss everything going on in our relationship and in our home. When he couldn’t see my point of view, Nancy Engelhardt could intervene and let him know when I was absolutely right in what I was presenting. And if I was wrong, Robert Engelhardt could share why my husband was correct in his point of view. Sometimes we both needed a different perspective and an attitude adjustment.

When you have someone who can provide support for your marriage and your home, you are able to clarify the truth and get to the bottom of things before your marriage (and family, as a result) blows up.

It’s not only important for you to have a mentor as a young wife, mother, and homemaker. It’s important for your husband to have a wiser, older man to talk with as well. And if you can find a couple who can work with both of you, like we did, that’s a bonus.

You don’t have to walk this homemaking/wife/motherhood journey alone.

Take the time to consider the women in your life.

Who can you ask questions, seek advice, and share with in this experience? Give her a call today. Let her know what you desire of her. And give her an opportunity to be a blessing in your life.

What questions do you have about having or finding a mentor? Let me know in the comments below! I’d love to hear from you!