In December of 2009, I was watching a Dave Thomas Foundation Adoptions Special on television. When a 17-year-old girl talked about wanting a forever family before she graduated out of the state’s foster system, my heart broke. I imagined what it would be like to be eighteen and have no family. No one to guide me through college applications and see me off to school the next fall. No one to visit and nowhere to go for Thanksgiving or Christmas or Summer Break. No father to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. No one to turn to when my world was falling apart. I may have shed a tear or a few. Thus began our adoption story.

(Read more about why to adopt a teen here.)

My Husband Wasn’t Immediately On Board

I spoke with Victor about the program and my new desire to foster and possibly adopt, and he wasn’t really on board. Which didn’t surprise me. We were “on the road” with his career in construction, and we moved every six to twenty-four months. And we were super busy with our own four biological kids.

So, I tucked my desires to add another child (or two) to our family in my heart and continued raising our own kids. (I may have mentioned my continued desire to foster to my husband a few times in the years to follow…)

Fast-forward to June of 2014. It’s Father’s Day, and we’re sitting in church, listening to a father talk about his fostering experience, when he says, “Men, if your wives have been telling you they want to foster for a few years now, you need to do so.” I was about to elbow Victor when I noticed a tear slipping down his cheek. As soon as the sermon was over, he and I found the gentleman who spoke earlier and asked our questions.

Thus began our loooooooong foster licensing process. (But that story’s for another post.)

When applying to be a foster/adoptive parent, we have the right to declare what types of kids we care to foster, as well as age, sex, etc.

We applied to foster children from ages 12-16. This would mean the child would be in the same age range as our own children. We asked for a girl, because we already had three boys and felt our daughter would enjoy having some more estrogen to relate with. Plus, her room was the one with the extra bed in it.

We asked for a child who had few “issues.” We recognize that all children come with some form of trauma, including our own. I also recognize that I can only handle so much in a day, and I could not handle having to go to appointments all of the time.

It took us a year and a half to get our foster license, but that made getting our adoption license much easier.

In the meantime, I prayed.

Specific prayers.

Lord, I want a girl who is Hannah’s age. Sixteen. Seventeen. Someone who doesn’t have a ton of trauma in her life. Someone who will fit right into our family. Someone who is already released for adoption. Someone we can be a family for.

For the next few months, we never got a call to foster.

When January through March had come and gone without a call to foster, I began to wonder why. I had fully expected God to bless me with a new daughter for my birthday. April 14th came and went. I asked God, “Where’s my birthday present?”

Happy Birthday to Me

On April 17th, I was wandering Hobby Lobby. I stood in front of the Tim Holtz section, admiring the variety of ephemera for mixed media and papercrafting art. That’s when the call came.

She was sixteen. Not a lot of trauma. And, we found out later, already released for adoption. Recently. I now understood why it took so long for the state to call us with a placement. God had provided exactly who I had prayed for.

It took a few weeks for Victoria to become comfortable enough around us to loosen up. But when she did, the Lord revealed just how much she fit into our family. She and I were conversing one afternoon, when she flipped a compound word. I used to call butterflies “fly-butters” and grasshoppers “hop-grassers.” She was definitely meant to be my kid. She also shares my love of chicken. She’s the only kid in my home who doesn’t complain when I cook chicken once a week for dinner. She also shares my husband’s love affair with cheese.

It wasn’t a month before I began talking to Victor about adopting her. Again, he hesitated. Said she needed to get to know us better, as we did her. But I knew…

Adoption Day

It was just after Victoria’s 17th birthday that we stood in front of the judge and answered the questions at the adoption hearing. She was now our forever daughter, and we are now her forever family.

Right before she graduated high school. Our smart and determined daughter finished an entire year early. Something she’d been working on since she was in middle school. She chose to rise above her circumstances, and she continues to do so to this day.

God blessed us with a compassionate young lady with the best giggle in the world. My heart continues to burst with gratitude for the opportunity to add her to our family.